


Walking backwards into hell

by A_Nobelmonster



Series: tastes like cherry cola [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alcohol, Come Eating, Eating out, FTM, Fingering, Hand Job, M/M, Multi, Partying, Recreational Drug Use, Threesome, Trans Character, highschoolish au, i call this my Dairy Queen au, i honestly don't know what this is but it was fun and relaxing, slight out of character behavior and speech but it makes sense in the au verse, trans!andrew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-01-03 19:30:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12153324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Nobelmonster/pseuds/A_Nobelmonster
Summary: Face god as we walk backwards into hell. In the summer of our youth, we are bold. Golden and dripping in honied lies.





	1. Chapter 1

Andrew looks over at Neil, he thinks he might be swirling the ice cream cone wrong or not paying close enough to the incoming orders. 

“Do you smoke?” He thinks Andrew means pot, he doesn’t but he says yes because it's a quarter of a truth which makes it more than a lie. 

“Cool, Renee is doing this, hey Renee why did you invite people over again?” Renee is not her real name but it fits her better Neil thinks. She still curses a lot and he’s seen her on smoke breaks with Andrew pocket knife in hand while she talks but its a promise of something softer. 

“End of year party.” she shrugs “cause why the fuck not? shit sorry, Neil.” Apparently, something about Neil puts Renee into protective big sister mode like she doesn’t want to curse in front of the baby so it doesn’t pick up bad habits. So Neils the baby but he already has plenty of bad habits. 

Andrew turns back to Neil licking his lips and biting them, “So yeah, if you want to come it’s at our apartment but I can give you a ride.” It's a generous offer for Andrew, Neils brain in the voice of his mother is ripping into him but he doesn’t have any friends at school and he’s a little more lonely than he would like to admit. 

Dan yells “15 minutes to go”, the restaurant is empty and they are all checking the clocks and their phones secretly itching to lock the doors on any late night customers needing their blizzard fix. The bell jingles and Neil can hear Dan groaning into the stainless steel counter by the fries. 

As soon as the man and his daughter leave Dan darts out from the Kitchen catching the keys that Andrew tosses to her easily. “Thank fuck.” From there, its a combined rush to put away the extra food, most of the leftovers are going home with Dan

“I live my aunt and her kid, there isn’t a lot of food to go around so I worked it out with Janie to take stuff home. You know that we just throw it out otherwise? its messed up so I figure I might as well.” He likes Dan. She’s a little loud but a lot honest and he feels like he could tell her a lot of things. She worked as a stripper for a while but quit six months ago when a regular started stocking her trying to pay her to have sex with him.

Neil squeezes himself into the back of Andrews car when everyone has changed. He’s sharing more than half his sweat with a busted sound system stack with books. After Renee asks him multiple times if he wants to switch to the passenger side where she is they are off. 

She lets down him carefully ponytailed and pinned bleached bob but he can see the tattoo behind her that says ‘family’ in cursive when she reached down for the aux chord. 

There is a lazy finger point at her face belonging to Andrew, “Hey, no fucking Eminem or Kesha this time. If I hear about that mockingbird again I'm going to ring my own neck.”

Renee laughs in response turning on some who she says is Marylin Manson. She in tears laughing after Neil says he’s never heard a woman's voice so low before. 

“We got to get you out more Neil,” Andrew says before turning into the parking lot of the liquor store. 

The older boy is barely older than Neil by a year, technically two if Neils being honest about his age. Despite this Andrew has no problem coming back with a bottle of whip cream flavored vodka and Jack Daniels after Renee hunted through the console for extra change. 

“I couldn’t get that fancy margarita salt you like but we have limes and salt at home. Renee pats Andrews cheek careful with one hand and impressively steals the bottles with her other hand taking a long drink before they are on the road again. She lights a cigarette placing it between Andrew's lips as a consolation prize.

The cool air from the rolled down windows and smoke is nostalgic but it doesn’t hurt like he thinks it should, to be reminded of his mom. Neil has always like driving in the car at night. 

The Apartments Andrew and Renee live in are all shades of brown and pale cracked concrete. There a stain of black on the one step that counts as their porch surrounded by flicks of white paint. Renee gets into the house first stepping out of her shoes and flinging her denim jacket in the direction of the living room. 

Neil waits awkwardly on the step before closing the door and going to stand in the small dining room/ kitchen combo. 

“I’m going to make some mac and cheese you want some? I hate drinking on an empty stomach.” Andrews disappeared upstairs leaving him to answer. 

“Yeah, sure.” he says quietly enough that if she wasn’t actually talking to him he can play it off as saying something. 

“Cool, cool. Sit, I'm not gonna bite.” She looks at him looking at the dining table chairs stacked with papers and clothes, “there’s room up here.” She says pointing to the countertop several feet from the stove, she taps it until he puls himself up onto the edge. 

Andrews comes back down wearing a dark blue tank top and a relaxed expression, joint in hand he opens up the screen door at the back of the kitchen. 

Looking very pleased with herself Reen takes out five boxes of mac and cheese adding a huge stock pot to the counter before pouring the elbow noodles in. She ads an additional box in when a tan boy with soft dark features come in through the screen, “Not working tonight?” Neils impressed by the fact that she doesn’t turn around but seems to know who it is. 

“No, Its Sunday so all the church people were at sizzlers, Sweeties was dead for like five hours so Dave told me not to come. Whose the kid. 

Niel cuts Renee off, “I work with them at the Dq.Who are you?” 

“I’m Andrews cousin- what are putting in that pot, Renee? is that sour cream?” She has a container of what looks like sour cream tipped over the noodles she just drained. 

“We don’t have any milk and sour creams dairy so it's like the same thing right?” Andrew nods, high and apathetic to his cousin's apparent food rules. 

“That's not how that works, that's not how any of that works.”The smiling woman blows a kiss to Andrews cousin before flipping him off as she dumps the entire container on the warm pasta. 

“Oh man, that's just wrong. Anyways I'm Nicky and your really cute. How old did you say you were.” Andrew had been in the process of offering Neil his joint, Neil takes it distractedly.

“I didn’t but I'm eighteen in a month.” 

Nicky ducks to avoid the throw pillow with several cool toned ducks embroidered on it that Andrew has aimed at his head, “too young for you pedo, put your dick away.” 

Bitching under his breath Nicky pours himself a large tumbler 90% coke and the rest Jack. “Fine but technically he’s legal. Is Kevin coming?” Andrew pushes on Neils' thigh with the bottom of his shoe so Neil will give him back his joint. He does tagging his time to think about his mouth on the same place Andrews was. 

Andrew may occasionally give off an asshole vibe but he’s been a pretty decent manager to Neil since he started and he doesn’t ask a lot of questions. 

“Kevins this hot shot Exy royalty that's taken to our Exy team out of charity.” Apparently, dinner is ‘getto mac and cheese’ as Nicky crudely states and spiked coke of orange Fanta depending on how adventurous you're feeling. Neils not, smoking is already outside of his comfort zone as it is. “Fuck if i know, I texted him but he’s probably at practice.”

A boy identical to Andrew comes in talking to no one. He gets a fork from the silverware drawer eating out of the pot directly. 

Nicky calls him a heathen though Neil notices that Nicky is eating the food. More people start to trickle in. Dan, who goes to the living room to turn on the sound system. Matt, a tall guy with a smile that distracts you from his track marks and finally Kevin almost two hours later. 

The stare from Nicky when Kevin comes in the room is obvious lust because Nicky told Neil in serval ways that he was gays so it makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is Andrews stare which is more. He’s not sure what its more of but it’s not how you look at a friend. 

Aaron, the names of Andrews twin, starts a poker game at the table they were sitting. Him, Renee and Matt are playing a confusion version consisting of stripping but only half the time. They are trading in pills, joints, and change from what Neil can see. 

Andrew and Kevin are on the thin slice of patio out back with just enough room for a dingy plastic white table and beat up matching chairs. Kevin is sitting in one of the chairs while Andrew is halfhazzardly crouched with chalk in the shape of an easter egg drawing profanities. 

“Edgar Allen will come for you next semester looking to sign you. I put you in as my pick.”

“No one asked you too. Me, I didn’t ask you to.” Andrew almost knocks over his drink but watches himself wobbling for a moment before going back to drawing a rainbow in reverse colors. 

Kevin notices Neil standing there and drops conversation for the moment, he can tell Kevin is used to getting his way. 

It's cold outside like it just rained. The weed is starting to fade in his system, he’s glad. 

“You ever play Exy Neil?” Andrew asks when Neil finally sits down. Neil shakes his head.

“I get the feeling there are a lot of things you’ve never done Neil. Ever kissed someone.” He doesn’t know where this is going but he says yes determined to remember the kiss itself and not his mothers unreserved raged following it. 

“You ever kiss a boy?” Kevin looks angry which is maybe why Andrew leans over on his knee inches from Neil with clear intent. 

His throat feels smoky and charred, he doesn’t mean to breathe out ‘no’’ but Andrews stealing all his oxygen making him light-headed. Palms covered in blue chalk frame his face. 

“Do you want to?” Kevins holding his breath too. Andrew tasted like cherry coated ice cream and hookah smoke. A heady intoxicant in human form. Neils' heart is beating so fast he’s trembling. 

“Andrew.” an admonishment and an admission of jealousy from Kevin. 

“Kevin, be quiet.” he talks the taller man's hand and Neils slowly going through the house to what Neils assumes is his bedroom. Once they are inside he lets go of Niels' wrist. “I have enough for you too.” Kevins pulled down by his collar, he has no choice but to kiss Andrew or fall over. 

Kevin is moaning into Andrew’s mouth, hands on his ass while Andrews looks at him.

They break apart so Kevin can take a breath, “If you don’t want this go now.” Neil didn’t know there was a this or even what it could be but he hasn’t felt this put together in months regardless of Andrew trying to take him apart. He’s been so touched starved that the whole time he’s been standing there he’s been thinking about the possibility of Andrew's hands on him again. 

He has only known Andrew for four months but he doesn't trust Andrew for this, to fool around with and to put his hands on Neil without malicious intent. He has so many reasons why he should take his bike out of the Andrews trunk and leave. He walks over to Andrew who is moving backward to his bed with Kevin. 

“Don’t look down.” The blond is scouting further towards the headboard with Kevin over him losing his bag athletic shorts and boxer briefs in the process. Neil comes over to Andrews side knowing the only way he won't be able to look down is to distract himself. Kevin guides Neil by the jaw to look at him. 

“Is this ok? can I kiss you?” Objectively Neil thinks Kevin is good looking with his exercised toned body that could hold him up for days. He doesn’t want to touch Kevin like he wants to be held against Andrew but he’s not afraid to Kiss him.

“Yes.” Kevin does, tongue sliding into Neils' mouth while Andrews' hands guide Kevins down his body.

“Only fingers.” They both moan and the same, Neils eyes sink to where Kevin in sliding two fingers between Andrews' legs. Kevin doesn’t mind that Neil is distracted. 

Andrew’s mouth is red, panting as Kevin fingers him. His eyes are closed as he licks his palm cracking open a blurry hazel eye long enough to turn Neils hip so that he’s closer to Kevin's dick. He jolts when Kevin's long fingers press something inside of him fumbling as he gets Neils dick so he can take both in hand. 

Neil is impossible hard watching the way Andrew handles the both of them. Andrew free hands join Kevins rubbing his clit. Neil can barely pat his head and rub his stomach at the same time. He orgasm is sneaking up on him before he knows it. 

He knows he’s gone for when Kevin pushes Neil towards Andrews' mouth pulling himself from the man beneath his hands.

“is this ok?” he says hovering above Andrews pubic mound. Andrews response is taking his wet finger to the back of Kevin's neck and pressing him forward. 

“Neil, cum.” He does feeling like he’s just done a vigorous workout at the gym, It doesn’t crash into him but moments turn into minutes before his thoughts return. 

Kevin comes not long after sitting up enough to cum on Andrew belly button and pelvis. Neil would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy watching Kevin lick the come from Andrew's mouth sucking his way to where his fingers are still holding Andrew open. 

The high keening in Andrews' throat dies abruptly as his thighs press Kevin tongue deeper to where he’s been fucking into Andrew. Neil presses hot bruises into the joining of Andrews' neck. 

Kevin's fingers work the smaller man through his orgasm cleaning off his slick fingers and Andrews fold before kissing his inner thigh. 

“We should clean up.” Andrew apparently hates that idea because he tells Kevin to shut up as he weekly pulls up his boxer briefs. 

Not hiding his smile well Kevin rolls over to lay on the side of the bed with his back to the door. Even after all that Neil feels like what every that have is more and maybe a lot like he’s intruding even if he was invited to Andrews bed it doesn’t mean he’s invited into whatever they have. 

Not wanting to overstay his welcome Neil gets up as Andrews pulling a soft blanket with graphics of a grey wolf up him and Kevin.

“Don’t make it weird, get back over here Neil.” Andrews barely awake but Neil knows from working with Andrew that he doesn’t say anything he doesn’t mean. 

Neils obedience alarms him but he’s not dumb. In for a penny in for a pound. He started breaking the rules when he applied to the restaurant, being good has only gotten him so far he might as well do what he wants.

And what he wants is sleep and more saccharine kisses and maybe to see how much exactly he doesn’t mind kissing Kevin.


	2. I lay awake and watch it burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An exercise in holding on with one hand and letting go with the other.

Neil drops out of high school six months before he’s set to graduate. 

Maybe its Andrews influence, maybe it’s all the what if’s that are starting to get him. 

like Kevin.

When Renee finds out she slowly cups his face, “shit happens.” it does and Neil is tired of it happening to him. He just needs

“a road trip.”

They’re outside.

Nicky is sitting on the back of the dodge neon he bought with Aaron last year, he’s got a bottle of beer in his lap like a snake wrapped around an egg. He’s all board shorts and sun-drenched skin and dusty fingertips from drawing patterns on the window.

“Overnight camping trip.” Nicky might hate his job but Andrew just made jr.manager and Neil knows that the money is good enough that work on Monday is a priority. 

Neil and Renee are sitting at a crack in the asphalt outside of the apartments sidewalk seeing what liter closest to them will float in the small pool. 

There is a penny covered in cigarette ashes that buoys across the surface for one hopeful moment before falling. 

“Allison has a big ass tent she borrowed from her parents for some rich kid mixer.” He hears Aaron ask if that’s the Exy bitch that finger banged her behind the seven-eleven. 

it is but not the point. 

Nicky carefully extracts one leg to kick his cousin before writing in jarring cursive, “Aaron is a nasty het who doesn’t understand love.” some creative liberties are taken with spelling so it all fits on the remaining section of dust. 

“Fuck, ok, invite her along. I’m not sleeping on the ground.” He likes that Andrew never feels older than him. Sometimes he feels out of his depth but Neil’s left a sheltered life and its no ones fault other than his parents. 

There are copper pennies in his mouth because he is two separate countries of wanting this easy peace and the guilt of bending others to his wants. 

For a moment there are roses in the air.

Andrew puts his phone down to lean in close and light the end of the cigarette in Neils mouth with his own. 

“You good with this?” Nothing is good right now but this is more than good enough. The roses fade into apple shampoo and red bull. Andrew is easier to breathe in.

“I have nowhere better to be.” it’s not a lie. A liar not lying. How novel. 

Neil won’t lie to a foster kid like Andrew even if he carefully steps around things like his idyllic abusive life that he ran away from.

Andrew reminds him of the woman that had stooped down while he was picking up groceries from the check out lane when he was eleven. “It shouldn’t be like this, you deserve better.”

“Other than working because you dropped out.” Aarons not wrong, Nicky glares over the dogwood bordering the apartment before making enough room that Aaron can sit beside him with his skateboard on his lap. 

“Some people join a gang, some people go to jail. Neils doing pretty good if that’s all he does.” Renee is trying her hand at rebirth. She’s full of understanding that doesn’t always make for the most socially responsible advice. 

like when she told Neil that it was ok to use bible paper to roll a blunt because, well he hadn’t listened to the point she was making because Andrew had been putting together a coffee table that involved a lot of bending. 

No one even tries to be shocked that Kevin will inevitably be coming. 

There is something that pulls Neil to either boy no matter who much he tells himself to keep things casual. 

Neil had lost his virginity with Kevin in the room. 

They head inside Andrew and Renee’s apartment once the porch lights come on.

The more they’ve been hanging out the more Neil has gravitated towards crashing on the abused green pull out in the living room. He sits on it now and doesn’t think he can be any more tired. 

In itself, virginity meant nothing but Neil wanted it to mean something that Andrew had been the one taking it. That Kevin had been the one to finger him open kissing his sweaty forehead. 

Andrew curls up into the corner of the couch beside him with a bent paperback book. Somehow they are always touching and now his skin is not his alone. 

“Some people join a gang, some people go to jail.” and what if Neil falls in love when his father’s people could come for him at any moment? how bad is that? 

He’s starting to think words like friends and home 

maybe this will be his pound of flesh.

**Author's Note:**

> So it's embarrassing how much of me and my childhood is in this fic. not the threesome bits or getting high but this is basically an indulgence of nostalgia and smut. In case you're curious, the sour cream does work quite well. 
> 
> also lol the verse is named after that Lana del Ray quote. I wanted to make Andrew say it jokingly in the fic but I figured I was already on the edge of ooc.


End file.
